Emily P. Freeman challenges her readers to reflect on what they’ve learned at the end of every season. While I’ve done this in the past, what I’ve learned over the past few months has been especially meaningful as I’m transitioning from one season of life to another.
So, below are ten things I learned this spring in no particular order.
1. Going from a season of crisis, chaos, and busyness to a complete stop is a harder transition that I expected.
The transition from going full speed during a pandemic, writing a dissertation, and leading an organization to an almost complete stop is harder than I imagined. Although I’m relieved that my dissertation is done and the world is returning to normal, I didn’t realize how much of my mental, emotional, and even physical energy were consumed over the past year and a half until now. Suddenly, the hours in the day are mine again, and I’m having to reconfigure my thinking, my time, and my focus to carve out a new way of living and being. The slate is blank, so I’m pulling out my list of 100 dreams and reflecting on the next best step.
2. Good books will carry you away when you can’t get away.
Reading books I love is something that I’ve missed over that past three years, especially. While I’ve squeezed in a few books here and there, I’m finally getting to read what I want and that includes some wonderful fiction. Currently, I’m reading The Letter Keeper by Charles Martin. These last few weeks, the books I’ve read have carried me away when time would not allow me to get away. If you’re crazy busy right now, check out the books that have helped me slow down in addition to the ones pictured below.
3. Believe the best but go with your gut.
I am guilty of always believing the best about people. I realize that is foolish on my part, but that’s just who I am. However, after re-reading Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up In Order to Move Forward by Dr. Henry Cloud, I now recognize that believing the best is also a form of denial or, as Dr. Cloud describes it, “selective memory” where I only remember the good things about people and deny the truths about who they really are. This has been a hard lesson to learn, but I’ve listened to my gut and experienced a few necessary endings that will propel both myself and others into new seasons of growth and opportunity.
4. Giving myself permission to “be” is a game changer.
When the hoopla from graduating with my doctorate died down and the end of the year started to wrap up, I found myself coming home, eating dinner, and immediately pulling out my computer to work. Because I didn’t know what to do with my new found time, I did what comes most naturally to an Enneagram Three…I worked. After a few nights of working until I was bleary eyed and exhausted, I decided that it was okay to give myself permission to just be. So, I traded my Apple watch for a real watch, started treating my cell phone like it was a landline, and followed my workday shutdown ritual so that when I came home, I was free to watch tv, embroider, draw, or read. While my list of to dos for work is still long, I’m putting work back in its box and drawing some much needed boundaries.
5. The library is my happy place.
The library is within walking distance from our apartment. A quick stroll down the sidewalk and suddenly I’m immersed in another world. Lately, my favorite thing to do is put books that show up in my Instagram feed on hold, so that I always have something to read. If you’re looking for a summer reading challenge but don’t have time to read 50 books, check out Anne Bogel’s Summer Reading Guide for Minimalists. (I have not read these books, so I do not endorse the content…I am only recommending the list as a starting place for curating your own summer reading list).
6. Making a list of what brings me joy brings me joy.
In an effort to fill my time with things that bring me joy, I decided to make a list. The list included not only activities or hobbies that would bring me joy, but also a list of things that if I did them, they would bring me joy in the long run and combat the decision fatigue I’ve experienced over the past year and a half.
7. Time with friends is essential to my well-being.
I confess that during the past year and a half (maybe over the past three years since I started my doctorate), I have not been a good friend. I could not have predicted how all-consuming writing a dissertation in the middle of a pandemic and a snowstorm that shut down Texas would be. I retreated into writing about the same time the pandemic started, and I didn’t finish until the mid-April due to editing. I’m just now beginning to reconnect with friends that I have not talked to in FOREVER. Thankfully, my friends are gracious and understanding. However, after reconnecting with just a couple of them in the past few weeks, I’ve been reminded that I need my tribe to keep me grounded. They are my truth-tellers and grace-givers. I won’t let that kind of time lapse again.
8. Journaling never ceases to be cathartic and enlightening.
One of the characteristics of an Enneagram Three is the tendency to push aside emotions and push through the challenge at hand. I’ve been down that road before where the armor and pretense shrouded my true feelings, and during this transition into a new season, I’ve committed to be honest with myself and feel what I feel. Journaling my thoughts and feelings helps me do just that, and I’m a better person for it!
9. Taking trips without a purpose is a must.
The past three years have been filled with weekend trips to Belton for class. I would leave on a Thursday night and return home on Saturday evening. When I wasn’t traveling to class, I wasn’t traveling hardly at all because I was writing or completing assignments for class. This weekend, we took a trip to Fredericksburg, Texas FOR NO REASON AT ALL. And, I bought a hat…for no reason at all.
10. Having a dog is pure joy in the midst of crazy busy seasons.
In the middle of crazy days and hours of writing, Millie brought me so much joy. She is sweet, playful, and loves unconditionally.
Although I’m still navigating the transition into this new season of “time on my hands,” I’m grateful for all the days when I didn’t feel like there was “enough time in the day” to get it all done.
