In Part One of this series, I uncovered what wisdom really requires of us if we are going to lead where we are:
Wisdom, above all, requires vulnerability–the willingness to look at our life experiences openly and honestly and allow them to shape us into our true selves.
Today, we’ll look at the steps we need to take to lead with wisdom in our homes, in our workplaces, in our churches and in our relationships. Wisdom comes with a cost and the cost is putting aside our pretense, worrying about the approval of others, and trading in the image we want the others to believe rather than live out of who we really are. Instead, wisdom is about reflecting on our life experiences and seeing how they shape our story.
So, below are some necessary steps if we want to lead with wisdom:
- Rumble with vulnerability. If wisdom is based on reflecting on our experiences and allowing them to change us into our true self, then we must take a journey inward.
How do we do this? By asking ourselves a simple question,
“How do I feel right now?”
So often, we put our feelings in the “Feelings to Be Dealt with Later” file (Cron, 2016 p. 142). We stay so focused on our goals, our projects, our work, our parenting that we never stop long enough to feel.
Leading with wisdom means that we sit still long enough to allow our feelings to rise to the surface about things we’ve experienced (both good and bad), reflect on them, and allow our hearts to be awakened to the truths that we need to hold on to and the lies that we need to let go.
- Bring closure to the past. Once we’ve reflected on our life experiences and allowed ourselves to feel, part of gaining wisdom is to bring closure to the experience. Whether it’s the sadness of marrying off the last child, being wounded by a friend, or the ending of a season, we need a way to wrap it up and let it go.
To continue to live in the experience only leaves us feeling stuck when we were made for more.
For me, wrapping up a difficult life experience looked like this:
So, one morning, on a page in my journal, I penned the name of each person whom I felt had wounded me so deeply as a sign that I was choosing to forgive as I had been forgiven. Then, I drew a line through each name, removing them from the list. I‘ve looked back at that page multiple times as I‘ve replayed conversations in my head and reminded myself, “By an act of my will and the grace of God, I forgive you.”
For you, it may look different. You may wrapping up a season of life that includes sending your little girl to kindergarten or waving goodbye to your son as he goes off to college. Regardless, find a tangible way to bring closure to the places where wisdom has finished its work.
- Share your story with others. For me, this is hard because now I’ve not only been honest with myself, but I’m inviting others into my vulnerability. My first step in being vulnerable with others was telling my story to my close friends who “know me well and love me anyway.”
And after taking that first step, as the opportunity presented itself, I shared my story with others who needed to know they were not alone. I’ve also shared my stories of taking risks, bringing closure to seasons of life, and how my faith has given me a calling and purpose. In her book, Let’s All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have, author Annie Downs says:
“Seeing you be brave may be all they need to be brave. That may be all it takes. You get the chance to live courageously. You were meant for it. You were born for it. It never feels easy, and it never is free. But it is what we want more than anything else. This is your map. This is your story. Be brave for yourself, be brave for your God, and be brave for the onlookers, the ones who will be inspired by you to inspire others.”
As a result, the life experiences I once thought were meant only for me have now become wisdom for others.
So, what about you?
How have your life experiences shaped you into the leader you are today?
Do you need to rumble with vulnerability?
Or share your story with others?
Maybe you need to bring closure to an experience you’ve been hanging onto for far too long.
No matter what your next right step is, let’s all be brave and let’s lead with wisdom…right where we are…together.
